Embrace
by Kitten With A Tie
Summary: They were all cowards, and she was determined to prove it. Darkfic.


She was never strong.

She was always scrawny; sickly.

She had to watch the other kits play through clouded orange eyes as she sat by her mother, shivering beneath the sun's pale rays.

"You'll become a strong, beautiful warrior, Ivykit."

That's a lie.

She had dull, thin gray fur with a single white forepaw. Her claws were dull and short with legs that were too long.

Those claws would grow long and dark with blood.

Her mother was tall and slender with sparkling gray fur and bright eyes that were full of warmth and life.

Ivykit sat hunched over with a longing look in her eyes. The kits were chasing each other, hopping and yowling.

The kit wouldn't be in the play long enough before she would double over, coughs racking her tiny weak body.

"You probably don't believe me now, but it'll happen."

Her mother fed her on lies.

.

She became an apprentice at ten moons.

She was still small, but as large as the average apprentice.

Two queens had moved into the nursery, the first already giving birth to two kits.

One was blind and the other was stillborn.

The queen had grieved, refusing to care for the blind kit.

The blind kit died, as did the queen.

A tragedy.

The second queen was frightened for her own kitting, voicing her thoughts to Ivykit.

"You see, Ivykit, death is in this world," the queen had said. "You can't hide from it. It always finds you. We're all cowards, Ivykit, hiding from death. That's why I'm afraid of kitting, Ivykit. I don't want my kits to be born into a world full of death, Ivykit, but it can't be stopped."

"I'm not afraid of death," Ivykit had replied. "I'm not going to be a coward."

The queen's response was a smile.

On the day before her apprentice ceremony the queen kitted.

She died.

She gave birth to one kit. A skinny one with golden fur.

The father grieved, taking out his anger on the kit. He refused to visit.

Ivykit decided to befriend the tom. His name was Thornfoot. He was large with thick grey fur and cold green eyes. He had a scar on his nose that was a bright pink and stood out from his grey pelt.

The tom, at first, ignored her. He insulted her and chased her away, desperate to block her out.

"Your mate was a coward, Thornfoot," Ivykit said. "She was afraid of death. You are a coward too, Thornfoot. We're all cowards. But not me. I embrace death. I'm not afraid of something so simple, so fickle. You should embrace death too, Thornfoot. It'll happen today, or tomorrow, or the sunrise after that. You can't hide."

The tom had stared at her through glazed eyes before speaking. "Those are my mate's words. She will live on in my kit." He didn't blink. "My kit shall be a strong warrior. But he will fear death, Ivykit. I can't stop him from being afraid."

"You can." But he was walking away. Away from her. She watched him.

Coward.

.

She was still weak, even at twelve moons. Her mentor said that, her father said that, her Clan said that.

"You weak little mouse! Put all the weight in your hindlegs!" Her mentor had yowled, his voice exploding in her ears. She tried again, but failed.

A paw cuffed her ear. "You fool. Why did Ripplestar even allow you to become an apprentice? You should've been a medicine cat, runt."

Short claws unsheathed.

.

Ivypaw was eighteen moons old. She couldn't fit into the apprentice den anymore and was forced to sleep in the nursery.

The nursery was cold. There had been no queens for three moons.

Cowards.

They were afraid of kitting. Afraid of putting kits into this world full of death.

She'd show them.

Death was not to be feared, but embraced!

.

Thornfoot called her name the loudest.

Ivypelt didn't even smile. Her short claws dug into the rock beneath her paws as she stared at her Clan.

Cowards! They all were! Hiding their fear beneath smiles and friendly cheers! They were afraid of death! They deserved to die!

Her claws tightened at the rock beneath her paws.

_"These short claws will grow long," _she had promised herself.

.

She followed Goldpaw.

He was Thornfoot's son. He had grown into a handsome young tom with thick golden fur and warm blue eyes after his mother. He didn't seem to get anything from his father besides their broad shoulders.

Ivypelt stuck to the shadows, her dull brown fur blending into the foilage and browning trees. A leaf-fall wind rustled her thin fur. She tensed up. The wind was downhill, sending her scent towards the apprentice.

She noticed him pause, one paw in the air. Hopefully the scent of leaves and timber would hide her scent.

The warrior quietly let out the breath she was holding when the younger cat kept walking.

When the time was right, she pounced on her prey. Her claws - which had grown long - sunk into his shoulders and her weight sent him tumbling into the ground. The apprentice yelped as a bloody paw sliced over his face and he was pinned to the ground.

"Ivypelt?" Goldpaw said in horror, staring up at her with innocent blue eyes.

"Are you afraid of death, Goldpaw?" Ivypelt demanded, pressing her face against his.

"What do you mean?" the younger cat demanded. Fear filled his eyes

"You aren't brave in the face of death." Her tail lashed. "Coward."

No reply came from the tom.

Her claws had pierced the soft flesh of his throat. Blood, flesh, and fur was sent flying, dirtying her claws and paw.

"I'm sorry, Goldpaw."

.

"Why did you do it?"

She didn't bow beneath the judgemental glares of her Clanmates. She had drug the dead body of Goldpaw back to camp, not bothering to lie.

"You're all cowards," Ivypelt said. "Goldpaw died with fear in his eyes, as will all of you. I, Ivypelt, won't! I will not fear death! I will embrace it!"

Something slammed into her side and she was sent flying off the Highrock. She hit the ground hard, all the breath rammed into her. Towering above her was Thornfoot, staring at her with fury and grief in his eyes. Goldpaw's blood smudged his nose from when he had buried his face in his dead son's neck.

"How could you?" the tom yowled. "I trusted you! I thought you were my friend!"

"You weren't wise to trust me," replied the pinned cat. "I may sound insane, but I speak the truth."

Something gleamed and she felt an intense pain in her neck before numbness. Shrieks filled her ears - were they hers? - before an icy numbness filled her.

"Coward." _Mother. Ripplestar. Thornfoot. Goldpaw._

There was darkness.

.


End file.
